Preparing For Your First Therapy Session.
Preparing to begin counselling can bring up a lot of feelings. Many clients experience nerves, and feel curious about what lies ahead:
“What if I don't know where to start?” “Do I need to take anything to my sessions?”, “What if I find it too hard?”, “Will I like my counsellor?”, “My counsellor mentioned a contract, what is this?”
Every counsellor or therapist has their own way of working. For this article, I've drawn upon my own way of practising to provide answers to some of the questions that might be coming up. Hopefully this may help ease any first session worries.
What might happen prior to your first session?
Prior to meeting with a new client [for the purposes of this article I'll use 'you' rather than 'the client'], we will usually have had a 30–50-minute assessment call to explore what's bringing you to therapy. This call offers an opportunity for us both to see how we might work together and gather important information.
This call is a good time to ask any general questions you might have about counselling and sessions. Questions I am often asked are: “How long do sessions last? - 50 minutes”, “How often will they take place? - most therapists recommend weekly sessions”, “How long will I need therapy - this is your choice, you'll likely know when you've got what you need from the work, for some this is a few sessions, for others, it may be months or even years”.
At the end of this call, assuming we’re both happy to do so, we'll work out a suitable time and day for a first session.
Between this call and our first session, I'll email to confirm our session time and the location of my practice rooms [along with a map so you have plenty of time to plan your journey]. I’ll also send two documents [our contract – sometimes called a shared agreement - plus a client information form] for you to read through, payment information, and my contact details in case of problems on the day of the session.
In terms of your own preparation, there is no need to turn up to the session with any detailed idea of what you want to explore, we can simply go with whatever feels right to you on the day. That said, if you do want to do some reflective work, make some notes, and bring those along you are welcome to do so if you think it might help get you started.
What happens in the first session?
Initially, our first session will focus on agreeing how we will work together and the boundaries we will put in place in order to maintain confidentiality and safe practice. This will cover a number of important issues such as limits to confidentiality, session cancellation policy and ethics.
Once we've worked through this - usually this takes around 10-15 minutes, I'll invite you to begin wherever and whenever feels right.
It's not my role to tell you what to talk about, but I will always help you to work out what it is that you’d like to focus on. Sometimes this process may take a little while, but that is fine. It takes as long as it takes. We’ll also talk a little bit about what you’d like to achieve in counselling, what your goals might be.
There's no way to predict what might come up in session - you may find that aspects of your childhood come up, relationships with friends and family, or work situations that you're finding difficult to manage. You may want to discuss thoughts, emotions or aspects of your behaviour or recurring feelings you've become aware of.
Equally, if you've sought out support for a specific issue such as bereavement or the difficult end of a relationship, we can focus on that. It is your time, and you can choose to explore whatever feels right for you, I can help you focus, explore and work towards the outcome you’re looking for.
There may be moments when you feel unable to talk, or want to reflect at length before answering. Silence in session is ok too. There’s no need to feel awkward, we can sit for as long as you need. I may also stay silent, or I may invite you to take your time and let whatever needs to be expressed flow, whenever and however feels right.
Each session lasts 50 minutes, and there will always be a clock in your eye line and mine. There is no need for you to remain aware of time, as I will monitor how much time has passed and will let you know when we have about 5-10 minutes left. Many clients find this helpful for two reasons, firstly it prevents the abrupt ending of a session which can feel jarring and uncomfortable, and secondly, it allows us both to be mindful of gently winding down toward the end of the session, so you feel able to leave feeling safe and grounded.
In these last 10 minutes of our first session, I may invite you to reflect on how you experienced the session and whether it was as you imagined it might be.
We may chat about this for a brief time, then confirm the next session, and your first session will be over.
If you’ve been thinking about beginning counselling and worries or nerves have stopped you from making your first appointment or booking an assessment call, please feel free to send me an email and I’d be happy to call you to talk about how counselling might benefit you and talk through any concerns or questions you may have.
